Thursday, December 20, 2007

Reality Bites

I used to love this movie and I still do. I am a movie person and sometimes I think things should be the way it is in the movies. That is not reality and reality bites. I had a friend come over because she broke up with her boyfriend. It was a long time coming and even though she will be better off, it is always hard to let go even if you know it is for the best.

He was not the one for her, but some people including myself, have stayed with a person even if you don't see a long standing future because you like having someone there. It sucks sometimes letting go. Realizing that maybe the person you are with is Mr. Right now. This is when reality comes into play. I don't like thinking of the future. Take things one day at a time. So I am a little different from most girls because I am not looking for anything other than that. Being with someone you enjoy, have fun with and respects you.

I live for the movies. I believe that you may fight being or facing wanting to be with someone, but when things are right you break the rules. I keep hearing the U2 song from the soundtrack of "Reality Bites" "All I want is You". The guy in the movie has never been serious or cared deeply about someone and then realizes that he wants his best friend, etc. I like the song because someone can promise anything, say they will buy you anything, do anything for you, etc. But what I think all those things do not matter. Well especially the materialistic things. I think being there for someone does matter, but what matters the most and the only thing that should matter is wanting to be with that person. When you do not feel that, then no materialistic thing, comfort of having someone, nice dinners, jewelry can replace the feeling of wanting to be with someone. Once you lost that or never had it, then it is time to re-examine some things.

Someone can give you everything, promise the world but the only thing that ever matters in the long run is whether it is those things tha matter or just wanting to be with the person. Someone respecting you, listening to your opinions (even if they disagree), caring for what matters to the other person is what makes a relationship last. I like to make people I care about feel happy. When you start feeling bad about it or not appreciated, then does that person care. I think that is the advice I will give my friend and it is the advice I try to follow.

Also I read this and I think every girl should think about this before assuming they are in a lasting relationship.

Does the guy show care and respect for you? Or are you a convenience?

Do your conversations center around life, ideas, interesting thoughts? Or is it all about when you are available for sex?

Do you have a great time together when there is no physical activity going on? Or is sex the only thing that brings you together?

Do you feel cared for and cherished for being who you are? Or do you feel you are only valued for what you do for the guy?

Is the guy interested in your goals, your dreams, your hopes? Or is the relationship pretty much centered on his needs?

Do you feel in your heart that you are valued as a human being? Or do you feel your value comes from the guys expectations?

“Don't rely on someone else for your happiness and self worth. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can't love and respect yourself - no one else will be able to make that happen. Accept who you are - completely; the good and the bad - and make changes as YOU see fit - not because you think someone else wants you to be different.”

~Stacey Charter